529th entry ~ You guys just aren't going to make this easy
7:48 pm
I don't know what else to do. It seems no matter how much I cry and yell and swear and write, they just don't get the idea. This is over some so stupid that I guarentee you in five years I'll look at it and say "That was just stupid." But right now it's important to me.
For the past few months it's been nothing but tention in this house. Currently its over two things....a computer and student loans. The computer is nothing new, but now that I've got less than a month before move in day, the parents are starting to realize I need money for college. Wonderful, how do I get that money? Well they want to cosign some loans for me, but the problem is the one I checked out today, they don't loan money to students going to my college. So that idea got scratched. Mom and I went to the bank on Monday to see if they would lend us anything and if we mom and dad cosign it PLUS put the car up as collateral, I can MAYBE get $5,000. But now the other issue is a computer. The one I'm really worried about.
What they haven't told me but I've figured out is they don't want me to spend my money on something I want. They want me to save it for sometime later, maybe when I need the type of computer I want. So instead of buying me a cheap ass computer, dad wants to RESTORE a computer that has a virus in it for the past five years and hasn't been run for that amount of time AND comes with NOTHING! Now I've got enough brains to say THIS MAKES NO FUCKING SENCE!! I don't understand his/their decision on this. Where did this come from?? I know this is dad's idea more than mom's. He's wanted to restore that god damn computer for years. The thing is old. There is nothing useful in it. The CD burner is slower than dirt and I just can't believe he's going to do this to me. I HATE HIM YET AGAIN. Of course, when have I ever stopped hating him??????
I asked mom, "This computer comes with NOTHING when we could buy something brand new with a warrenty AND get EVERYTHING in/with it." Well apparently he's got stuff for it. Like a monitor and keyboard and mouse. Fine, whatever. Guess what though? If he's going to be an ass hole about this, I'll be one right back. If he gets me a monitor that is anything but a flat panel, I'm not taking it. No fucking way. I will go out and buy my own god damn monitor, I'm not taking a massive thing to school. Wait, I'll take it to school but then I'll buy a new monitor right away so then he'll never know. Well until I return home that is. Does this computer even have a USB port????????? I mean, WTF! I'm seriously going to run away. Florida....SURE. Minnesota...SURE!
I know I'm probably making a bigger issue out of this than is needed, but you don't see my point. My point is I'm not getting what I want. I know a computer is a big investment. I was going to buy a good computer that would last me YEARS. They want to start me small so that in two years I can buy another fucking computer. Seriously, why do you guys make things hard???? As if I'm not stressed enough about going to college and meeting my room mate. Lets piss me off before I even go. You know, I'm just going to come home, throw my laundry down and go to work. Sunday comes, give me my laundry I'm going back to school. I don't want to be here anymore. I can't stand it here. Dad is pissing me off so much.....and I'm not even talking to him!!!! Isn't that sad! He is the exact reason why when I leave this state for a job, I am NEVER coming back. I can not stand him anymore. What a way to end your daughters last real summer.
You are suck a fucking ass hole. I hate you.
Amanda