559th entry ~ New Year, New Start.
7:00 pm
So it's been awhile since I've written. I know this. I was filling my need to write with Myspace Blog but I felt the need to come back here and write. I just read my last diary post and it's so sad. Things have changed so fast since then. I can't believe I was ever in that situation to begin with.
I did eventually move to a different room in a different building. I moved four dorms down. I didn't get into the room that I wanted to, but that probably worked out for the best. I moved to Bigelow and I'm in a single room. It just so happened to work out that the girl that was living there was moving out, so I took it over as a single. I'm very very happy to be there now. I like having my own space. I don't like that it's an all female floor though, but I can live. Brian likes the idea too. Means I can't have that big of a wandering eye now. Guys are on first and fourth floor of this building though. So they are still there, and every now and then they wander onto my floor, but not too often. That's okay. I usually have my door closed anyway. Jenny helped me move over. It was a shitty day to move, but that's okay. It's working out though and that's what matters.
Ryan and I had a very big fall out and went weeks without talking. I never thought he would talk to me again but he did. I would go onto his Facebook and read his status and figure out what was going on from that. He gained a girlfriend for two weeks, then broke up because of her I'm guessing. Never did hear the story from him. I wrote him a message saying Sorry and he wrote me back. We sent a few messages from there and then he hasn't talked to me for a few weeks now. Maybe it's best that way. I'm okay with it. I'm just surprised he even said anything to me in the first place.
On the Tuesday before Thanksgiving week I took off for the Dells. I had talked to Mickey and she gave me the idea of driving up there to see him on a day. Well he didn't like the idea of me driving four hours to see him, so I got pissed. Well then he thought if we met somewhere that would be better. So he said we could meet in the Dells. Not really half way for him, but I'm terrible with directions so it would be better that way since I knew where it was. So after my morning class I got on the road. I went back to Janesville to get my swimming suit and then get on the interstate from there. I got up there around one I think. He didn't tell me where he was until I got closer to the place. So I called, he told me what exit to take, I took it. Asked if it was a left or right off the ramp and he wasn't sure. So I took a left instead of the right I should have taken! haha Well he eventually spotted the car and told me where to go. It was funny because when I got to a stop sign that was pointless I didn't really stop, just slowed down, and he said "Nice stop." HAHA! That was cute. I got there, spotted the Impala and my heart started to beat. I seen him standing on the patio looking at me. AWW! I took my time in the car and he just stood there the whole time. I got out of the car and acted like a dork but I found my way to the door. I got confused where the elevator is so I just took the stairs. Well I get a phone call from him asking where I am! haha I was probably 15 stairs up when he found me. I walked weirdly down and seen him. It wasn't like I had always thought it would be. I didn't run down the stairs to see him, and I didn't jump into his arms and kiss him right away. I just gave him a big hug and we went back up to the room.
It was really weird being in his presence again since I hadn't seen him for seven months. I just wandered around the place, talked to him, then the aquard silence came about. We decided to do lunch at Culvers. Talked for a couple hours, then went back to the room to change into our swimming suits. We went down to the park and spent like five hours there. Going on rides and just floating around in the pool. It was nice to be with him. Afterward we went back up to the room and of course the fun started!! We needed to take a shower and I started the water. It was very strange in the room because we were both thinking about it but couldn't say it. I walked out and was doing something when I said "So are we doing this together or seperate?" He didn't say much so I went into the bathroom and started playing around with a towel. he came in and tried to kiss me. I had wanted to kiss him so badly in the hot tub, but I just couldn't find the right moment. He kissed me on the side of my mouth because of how I was positioned. He said "I wouldn't know what to do." I turned around and said "I wouldn't care if you knew what to do." And then I tried kissing him. He left, I got in the shower. I was under the water for three minutes and figured he wasn't going to come in. he came in shortly after I took off my top and asked if there was room for two. Of course! So he came in butt ass naked, hard as a rock and started kissing me! He was pushing himself against me, it felt wonderful. I was ready, turned off the water and we went to the bed. As good as it sounds, nothing truely happened. We went to dinner after our fun time and then spent the night there because he'd already paid for a full night. Mom called me at 11 that night because she never got that email saying I was going to the Dells. Slept like shit that night and woke up at 5:30. Well actually he got up then, I kept sleeping. haha! But we went our seperate ways after we stopped to get coffee. It was really hard to say good bye to him. I knew I'd be seeing him later, but it was still really hard. We called several times that day. It was really hard to leave but I had other things to do at school. It was great to see him though.
Thanksgiving came and went. Nothing too special about that day. Friday though mom and I went out shopping. That was fun! Then I had to work, she had to work...great! haha That next Monday thought Brian came down after my classes. He got to Whitewater at like 3 and my class got done 15 minutes early. It was cool. Met him in the parking lot, gave him a hug and kiss and we walked to my room. That night we had dinner with Jenny, Amanda, and Rachel. Rachel drove in to see him, it was nice. Dinner was interesting. Putting that many girls together with one guy, haha! He survived. He had mixed opinions about Amanda though, but he liked Jenny and Rachel. Good! Went back to the room and that night we tried it again. He had put his hand on my waste and I was running my fingures up and down his hand and then started to go up his arm. He started doing the same to me but was going up and down my body. I asked him if he was trying to turn me on and he said he was. We went from there.....
Tuesday I had one class to go to. He didn't want me to leave, but he went and took a shower inbetween and that sort of stuff. We just layed around until around noon when we went to meet my mom at Applebee's for lunch. It was a good lunch. He paid for everything and she seemed to like him. While we were trying to leave she gave him a hug. It was unexpected, but he liked it. haha! We went back to my house where he met Toby and I gave him his Christmas present. I bought him a leather jacket. he really liked it. We left and went to PetCo where he boubht me two fish and all the stuff to go with it. I wasn't intending him to buy everything for me, but he did. AWW! We went back to Whitewater and he set up the tank for me while I did homework on the computer. That was boring. Watched TV and later that night we did it again. haha! Went to bed Tuesday night and woke up Wednesday morning and we did it three more times. Good times. I wound up missing both of my classes Wednesday. We were kinda busy! haha
Wednesday afternoon we got on the road north. That was a long drive. We stopped in Lyndon Station for a burger. It was wonderful! Got back on the road and we got to his house around 6. His mom came right out and gave me a big hug. It was very nice. Ate dinner and then went and exlored his house. he lives in a freaking huge house, but I guess that's where all his parents money is. So yeah! Stayed there until Friday morning. Nothing much happened that night. Thursday he came in and woke me up. He started acting like he wanted something to happen but I asked if he was sure and he stopped. He knew he couldn't, not with his father around. I wish something had happened but i knew it wouldn't. I was kinda sad, but I got over it. Thursday we did a lot of stuff. We went to a redneck breakfast inn. Food was good but I didn't enjoy the dead animals on the wall. haha! Went to Eau Claire to see a movie and go to the mall there. His sister is very nice and her boyfriend is nice too. Got home that night pretty late. Went right to bed afterward. Friday he was up before me and I got woke up by a call from Rachel saying it was blizzarding down there. haha! Had no idea. Hard to leave again, but I did. I made the four hour drive back again and got back here and froze. It was nice when I was there, sun was out, nice. Got down to this part of the state and it was all white and cold!! Went back to my room and got stuff packed up. It was hard to be in the room because I seen everything he had touched. I didn't want to move stuff. There is still some stuff I don't want to move. He put my two creachers on the TV a certain way and I don't want to move them. That's how he put them and I'm just funny that way. I didn't go to work that night because I said I was stuck in Whitewater. I was going to go home the next morning, but I was already home Friday night.
He left that weekend to go back to Florida. That was hard. He called me when he was at the airport, then he called when he got to memphis and then he was home. We've been talking on the internet and phone since. I'm planning on going down January 12th. Already bought the plane ticket. I'll be spending four days down there and the only thing we can talk about is SEX! haha It's been a couple interesting conversations. I'm excited to see him though.
But there is another part to this story. In the meantime, since he has been gone, I have found another guy to fuck. He has been wonderful. Mr. B wasn't too good in bed, but it's his first time so I understand. But this other guy is amazing!! No compairison! I'm starting to feel guilty now, but I think it might be coming to an end with this other guy. He hasn't really talked to me lately, but he could be busy. Not sure. I don't want to do this anymore. Brian doesn't know yet and I hope he never finds out. If he does we're done. No doubt about it. I feel terrible already. I need to end my bad streak and go back to being a good girl. I can do that. New Year, new Start right?
Amanda