561st entry ~ no talk talk
8:14 pm
So when the clock ticks 8:30 and Mr B hasn't called me yet, I shal get on the phone and chew his ass out, unless he's got a super good excuse why he didn't call. This goes for our online chats too. I'm getting worried about this whole relationship thing between us. Ever since I got home conversation has been really hard between the two of us. Not that we don't have anything to say to each other, but maybe we really don't. I look forward to talking to him every night after 8 o'clock and when I don't get the chance to talk to him I get sad and depressed and think I did something wrong again. I'm getting worried now that he's not online that maybe he thinks its best we don't talk for one night. I would hate him if he went along with it.
A few weeks back when I was getting really pissed at him and almost wanted to end the relationship, I had told him in an email that maybe we shouldn't talk every night. I told him before he even read that email to not take it seriously. But then last night he bought up the idea of not talking every night in voice. That kind of scared me. I don't get it though. Conversation has never been this hard to come by until now. It was like clock work, that's how sad this was. Monday night I get home and share a few phone calls on the trip home to say I'm okay. Tuesday comes and it's a really quiet talk and I wind up calling him on the phone after getting off line pissed at him bitching him out. Saying you just seen me a little over 24 hours ago and you've got nothing to say to me??? Conversation was the same last night as well.....though we had a talk about this no talk thing. I was still pissed though. I called Clayton last night and talked to him for over an hour and a half....a lot longer than I talked to the boyfriend for!
Okay, gotta go the bf decided to get his ass online. finally.....
Amanda