580th entry ~ Happy 21st Birthday to Me.
3:00 pm
Happy Birthday to me. I wish I could say I was happier turning 21, but I’m not. It’s not the birthday that I had hoped it would be. Most 21 year olds are in college and go out to the bars and party it up hard for their big day. Most have great friends that give them presents and obviously drag them home when they are too wasted to even stand up.
I have none of this. I do not have many friends, and of those friends that I do have, none of them live remotely close to me. I do not have anyone I can go out to the bars with, if I were even interested in doing that. I am, but I am not either. I am slightly depressed or down on my big day simply because I was not expecting to be in this weird situation with my life. I thought by time I turned 21 I’d still be in college and I’d have enough close friends to go out and have a bit of fun with. I also have not spent a birthday away from my family ever, so this is a bit of a change. 21 is a big milestone for anyone. It just doesn’t feel like that for me today. I’m sure the gloomy weather here in WI doesn’t help either.
The boy surprised me today with a GPS as a birthday gift. Pretty big gift for someone who has mixed feelings about you don’t you think? I was quite surprised nonetheless though. It’s a Magellan so I hope it’s a good brand. When I was at my old place of work we worked with Garmin so that’s all I’m used to. I’m excited to use it though because we all know I need it! I was going to buy myself one once I got a new job, but I suppose this will due now. I just hope he didn’t spend a lot of money on it. I don’t want it hurting his pocket book.
In other news on my big day, the Dow Jones closed at yet another record low today. Actually the second lowest, but who cares. If there are people out there that still truly believe 1) Bush has done a great job with our country in 8 years in office and 2) We are not in a recession; you better not run into me on the street. I will hurt you. I’m sure some people don’t understand the complexity of how bad it is because they still have a job. Since I do not have a job, I can understand how frustrating this economy is. I have been unemployed now for two months and with the market going the way it is, I would be surprised if I had a job by holiday time. Though we are currently entering the holiday season; being in retail before I know they market everything the first weekend of October until Christmas. I have thought about applying for a job at Target but I get this feeling I’ll earn more money from unemployment than actually working. This is why I have no respect anymore for retailers in how they treat their employees. I have never worked a waitressing job, but I can assure you working on a retail floor is some major hard work. Only those that have ever worked it will know what I am talking about. And the pay you receive does not equal the work you have to do. Hence why retail jobs are high turn over jobs. Maybe sometime they’ll figure this out.
Speaking of retail sales, looks like those dropped again in the month of September. I’ll say it once again; recession. Major.
Breaking News: My father actually remembered my birthday!!!! Yup that’s right, I got an email from him this morning and a birthday card in the mail from him. I am shocked. Who knew the man had a heart and a brain? He probably read it on the calendar that I’m sure my mom left on the wall when she moved out. I’ll make sure to note this in the history books.
I have spent my day watching TV, like normal, and cleaning. I’m presently doing laundry, I did the dishes earlier, and later I plan on making cupcakes. Last night we went to the grocery store and I got a Boston Cream cake and cupcake mix. Need to spoil myself!
Random thought here: My supposed friend from Scotland has yet to wish me a happy birthday. This really pisses me off and proves to me that most women are stupid when it comes to guys and their brains. My theory is once a women gets a guy that pays attention to them and they fall head over heals for them, they immediately shut out every other human being they once paid attention to for this guy. This is exactly what she has done with me. She took a trip to New York the beginning of September, got engaged, and I have heard from her MAYBE twice since she has been back. Thank you for throwing me out of your life. I see how valuable our friendship is to you now. Wow, how her acts remind me of my first asshole boyfriend. Huh.
I went and saw my therapist yesterday, like I have now for the past couple weeks. She’s going to try and hypnotize me next week and see if this helps with my sleeping issues. I have yet to sleep more than two hours a night in the past week. Last night I went to bed around midnight and was still awake around four. I think I slept better than I have the nights previous, but still, nothing to rave about. I will be interested to see if this works because usually I do not take that kind of thing seriously. I usually laugh. It’s quite funny to me.
Hopefully this lousy day will come to an end shortly. Tonight is the last presidential debate and I do plan on watching. I hope Barack will continue to keep a strong head and not bow down to the lowness that McCain has brought into this election. Yes, I am for Obama, but I am not going to vote because I truly do not believe your vote counts. I think it’s going to take a lot of something to change my mind and make me vote, but I am 100% behind Obama. I do not like McCain as a president; however I do respect him as a Senator for Arizona. I did like him then, just not now. We shall see how this goes as we are now entering the final days and hours before that famous Tuesday in November comes.
Must also note now: I am not that big of a fan of Donald Trump, but I just watched his interview with Wolf Blitzar on CNN and he made a lot of sense! I’m very surprised and look forward to watching more of the interview. Anyone else see this?
I am off to sulk/enjoy the rest of my birthday. Woopie. Oooh, the laundry is done. :)
Amanda