582nd entry ~ Can it be January 1st yet?
2:11 pm
Happy Monday everyone! I truly believe Monday’s should be banned from the calendar. Nobody likes them anyway. And nothing is ever on tv those nights. Ugh.
I have arrived back home from my weekend with my friend and my mom. It was quite an adventurous weekend. I arrived Friday night at my friends’ house a little after six. We promptly left the house to head out to the Super Walmart that I so miss. Seriously, why does the Milwaukee area have against Super Walmart? I should check into this. They’d make a boatload of money if they built one. Anyway, we wondered around there picking up random things and throwing it into the cart for about an hour. We then made our way over to Applebee’s for dinner at 9. After we scarfed our food down we went back to her house and helped her mom out with getting things organized for Saturday. She was doing a fundraiser type thing up in Madison for the Susan G Komen foundation. I was really hyper this night from lack of sleep and because I was somewhere other than this dingy apartment too! We wound up going to bed after 1:30 and had to be up quarter to five in the morning!!! I wanted to pull an all nighter, but they figured a few hours of sleep were better than no sleep. I of course did not sleep one bit again so I did, in my own way, pull an all nighter!! It was a fun day on Saturday!!
We had the worst fog on Saturday morning. You seriously could not see more than a few feet in front of you, and of course the low lying areas were so much worse. We were out the door a little before six (late of course) to pick up her aunt and head north to Madison. By time we got there the sun had rose up beautifully and the fog had somewhat cleared. The feeling of fall was still in the air though so it was quite chilly. We got the cars unloaded though and then my friend and I had to go pick up balloons. That was fun! We had 50 balloons to stuff into her SUV! We made it though but it was quite hilarious. The fog in that area though was so dense that this time you couldn’t see more than two inches in front of you!!!! It was terrible! But we made it back safely and got the balloons delivered. The event did not go as well as one would have expected, but things turned out well. The weather was beautiful on Saturday so that may have made people stay home and do some last minute yard work before the cold is upon us for awhile. Back home we went.
I was completely exhausted by the end of the day. I couldn’t walk straight, I couldn’t think straight, my head and brain were tired. I packed my things up though and headed to my moms’ for the night. We wound up staying awake until well after one in the morning talking. We watched SNL too with Sara Palin. Can’t stand the women but she was quit hilarious on it! Saturday night I slept through the night. First time in over a month! I was quite excited. I had taken drugs that night though for allergies so that may have done something or the simple fact that I hadn’t slept in over 24 hours may have played part too. Sunday was spent with my grandma and great aunt before I headed back here. Last night of course I don’t remember if I slept well or not. I’m going to assume I did?
I enjoyed being away this weekend. It allowed me to do something different than be in this apartment all the time. It also gave me time away from him. Once again I did not miss him. We texted through out the weekend but nothing over the top. Of course I come home to an apartment that appears to be clean but truly is not clean. So I will be doing this after I post this entry. The weather is quite chilly today, but I’m quite happy that fall is coming in so nice. The leaves are looking amazing right now. I’d say we are pretty close to peek.
Moving to a topic I had forgotten about until just now; my father. I guess somehow he found out that I was in town this weekend and was not happy at all that I chose to not tell him and not see him. This really pissed him off. I do not care though. I am a grown adult and I can make my own choices if I wish to see him or not. I am not happy with his choice to divide this family in half, so I’m going to keep my distance. I am not happy about the childhood I had with him and how it will be with me mentally forever. I am not happy about other things he has done to me in the past year either that will be with me forever as well. Mom thinks he will blame this choice I made on her, but if he does he will get a new asshole ripped for him from me. I will not let him blame her for everything when it was his poor choices while I was growing up that caused this. I would love to have him out of my life for good but I do not think this will happen. So because this won’t happen, I will limit my contact with him. The holidays that are coming upon us are proving to be harder that I could have ever imagined either. I now need to figure out how to split my time between two families; one that I want to be with, one that I don’t care to be with. My brother will be having the same issue, but I suppose he hasn’t thought of it much yet. I wish I could skip forward to January 1st already, but I suppose this can’t happen. I have this feeling my father will not understand if I wish to spend more time with my mom and her family than with him during the holidays. Can this just be over with already?
Take a deep breath in and try and forget about it until the time comes to make the choice.
I am off to clean. Oh yes, my favorite thing in life to do!
Amanda