592nd entry ~ Where did my summer go?!
4:31 pm
Today was the second day in three days that it has snowed measurable snow fall. I feel like I never got a break from last winter. I feel like we never got a summer. All summer I was trapped in this apartment or working practically ten hours a day with the drive. I never got to enjoy the summer and now it’s snowing AGAIN!!! I’m pretty sure I cannot handle another winter like last year. We got over 100 inches last winter, at least in the part of the state that I was in. This winter may be different because now I live a lot closer to a big lake (Lake Michigan). No matter what though, I am not ready.
Moving to Florida looks more appealing everyday.
Things have been going okay I guess. Saturday I had an emotional breakdown though because I got my pay check and realized there was not a 7 in front of the numbers, nor was there a 3 or 4, but a 1. So I broke down because I really feel like my life is worthless. I am no better than a silly little retail job anymore. I have no education and I have very little experience with what I want to do, even though I know I could do it 10x better than most people. But because there are so many people out there looking for jobs, I don’t have anything to set myself apart from anyone. It’s tough. I’m not sure I can handle this feeling. If by January I haven’t found something better, I’m not sure what I’m going to do. I cannot support myself with this job, and that is the worst feeling in the world coming out of my last job. People at my present job do not know much about me, because I tend to be a private person to start off with, but I guarantee nobody working there has ever made the kind of money I was making at my old job. Maybe the upper people, but I know darn well nobody doing what I do. That’s tough to accept too. I want that kind of money and life style back, I’ve had it once and I’ll be damned if I’m going to accept the poor life style now. Fuck that shit. I don’t have the money however to go get an education right now to make myself more ‘qualified’. I cannot believe how many employers are now asking something to have an associates degree to answer and phone and file papers! Excuse me! An associates degree for how much money a year???? Now that in my opinion is just being too fucking demanding.
I’ve also noticed, at least in the Milwaukee area, there are a shit load of bank teller positions. I cannot believe how many there are, yet they get paid next to nothing!! I’m pretty sure I’m getting paid more to do what I’m doing than they would. Now why is that? Oh, and I’ve also noticed they call them “Customer Service Reps”. Um, no, that is not called a customer service job. Yes it’s customer service, but not a representative kind of job. It’s just a bank teller position, nothing more!
I’ve read before on blogs and boards and such that people do not think ‘unskilled’ jobs like the one I’m currently working deserve to be paid a ‘living wage’. First off, I want to go up to these people and slap them and then ask them if they have ever worked these kind of jobs before? Do these kind of people realize the shit you have to put up with, the hard work and long hours on your feet that you have to do? In my present job, I am bending over, sitting on my knees, doing damage beyond belief to my joints, and it’s tough work. Now I bet that person who states we don’t deserve a living wage gets to sit in a big leather chair all afternoon with a personal secretary outside his door to bring him coffee and donuts whenever he pleases. Oh yes, because that job deserves to get over 50k a year!! While his ass is growing, my knees are going to give out on me before I’m 30.
I can defend what I am saying because of my last job. My last job I would sit in a chair, type shit on the computer or in excel and then file some papers. I’d be a receptionist on occasion, make copies and fax papers. That sounds like a real tough job right? But yet working there I was making 25k a year. By luck or skill, I have no idea but I want it back. I have hope that the job market will improve, that this country will get their head out of their asses and we’ll start moving forward again, but I do not hold hope that it’s going to be before the end of 2009 at the earliest. Unfortunately I cannot wait that long, I need a decent paying job ASAP. I cannot continue to work at Target for shit pay while I’m not collecting unemployment, at least not yet.
If I cannot continue to collect unemployment from the government while I’m working this job, I’m going to quit. My last pay check was less than what I get from the government every week. And this check was for two weeks. Sad? YES!
And certain people wonder why I have no faith. Look around you. There’s your reason.
I felt like a poor person last night shopping at Aldi’s. We decided to go there since I’m in a bit of a money crunch at the moment. I practically drained my savings account this week to make my half of the rent this month. Not how I imagined my life for December to be like this year. Last Christmas sucked too because of job issues, now this year too. It’s amazing I haven’t jumped off a cliff yet. So we shopped at the poor place last night. Spent a little over 40 bucks there and then went to Woodmen’s and spent a bit over 40 bucks there too. Not bad for not shopping for about two weeks!
Okay, so getting to the real reason I wanted to write an entry today, besides the fact that I’ve been MIA once again for a few days. My mind wanders sometimes. Like yesterday I never turned on my computer all day. Didn’t bother me. Anyway, we had a city inspector come out yesterday to look at the cracks in our walls and then the sinking ceiling in the bedroom. He said the cracks were nothing really but the ceiling needed to be fixed. So him and the boy agreed that we’d contact the apartments first to have them come out and look at it, then if they did nothing like we certainly thought they would, we’d contact this guy back and he’d get on their ass. Didn’t work that way however. The city guy went ahead and contacted the apartment people right away so then the boy had a voice mail on his phone around 4:30 yesterday kind of asking WTF. So they came out this morning and the first thing he asked me was “Why did you contact the city instead of us???” I simply told him it was a communication error, which it truly was, just not between who I told him it was. There were two guys though (quite cute too!) who came in and made a whole in the ceiling and then patched it up. I guess there were a couple issues, but nothing too sever I guess. I’ve got pictures, but I’ll have to post them later since the sets are on two different cameras, and the one I do not have access to! So I’ll post them at a later date.
I will however post the pictures of our snow fall on Sunday/Monday. It’s snowing now too, but now it’s dark so I can’t take pictures! If it keeps up though we will have a white Christmas, that’s for sure! Alright, off to do something productive. Like watch the news?
Amanda
My brother Chris and I on Thanksgiving. We're gangsta!
Starting to snow on Monday, Dec 1st.
Done snowing! Probably got about 5"
Our icicle lights.
Beautiful wet snow on the trees.