596th entry ~ Messages from the bipolar girlfriend.
12:18 pm
As some of you may know I've been in contact with my ex bfs girlfriend because she has taken the time to track me down and talk to me. I'd like to post the last few messages that have gone between us to see why I now believe she is bipolar!
Message #1
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Amanda,
I do not have a problem with you at all. I guess I'm just jealous because after reading your blogs and stuff...Brian seemed like he actually loved you and had a good time with you 24/7...I guess I am jealous of what you and Brian had. I need your help please. I'm sorry for everything I've said. I just don't think Brian wants to be with me...Please Help Me...I would love that. And like I said I am sorry about everything I said....
Please help.
Stephanie
My problem is I think Brian still likes you...and he's afraid to admit it...
This message gave me a lot to think about, so to try and help her understand my point of the story, I went and found a blog that I had written to give her an idea.
My Response:
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Dear Stephanie,
Thank you for the email. I’m sorry to hear about your concerns with your relationship with Brian. I’m not sure I can be of much help because each relationship is different. I’m unaware of how much you know about my past relationship with Brian, but it did not end well. He hurt me terribly and I have grown up a lot because of him. That being said, I’d find it really hard to believe he would even think about me let alone have feelings for me. I’m sure you have nothing to worry about.
I’m sure you are aware of this, but you cannot force someone to have feelings for you if they don’t already exist. If you feel Brian doesn’t love you like you want to be loved, I would discuss this with him. From my memories, he was always easy to talk to and usually willing to listen. I say usually for a reason. As I am not involved with the relationship, I cannot comment what may or may not be happening. My advice is to sit down and talk with him. If you don’t talk to him, you get nowhere.
I do wish you two the best and I hope things can workout. If you would like to discuss any further concerns, please do not be afraid to write me. I’m always willing to listen.
Amanda
My Response Part 2:
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Stephanie,
You're words have me thinking a lot. You mentioned you had gone through my blog and read about the happy times Brian and I shared. That may be the case, but there is a very important one I think you should read. It sums up the end of our relationship, and I hope for your sake, you are not experiencing any of the things I describe in that entry. It's a very long entry, but if you can read it, you may begin to understand my point of view on him a little bit more.
Written on April 21st, 2007
Title: Confessions from my broken heart.
The image on the outside may look deceiving. That's why I write.
Amanda
Message #2:
Wow that blog was crazy and I see your anger and sadness towards Brian. He has never ignored me and he always talks to me even when he can't. We are even planning on me moving in with him probably in about two months, so I just have to realize that also. I mean I guess I have had trust issues with my past boyfriends, and I guess I couldn't trust Brian for a while there but now I realize that he does stuff that no other person would. I mean when he is in the Air Force Reserves he has me come with him and stay in the motel, whichever motel I choose. He wants me to feel comfortable, he's always willing to help me with homework and all of that stuff. What was it like when he was down in Florida? I suppose it was a way different relationship than now, the longest time I can't be with him is a week in June and a week in August, so not to bad. Did you see the picture of our little puppy, she flew in from Ohio on Halloween. How long was you and Brian's relationship? Brian had a lot of communication problems, like when we used to fight and he would get mad he would hang up the phone and turn it off, I sat him down and talked that's not the way to go I told him, I want him to listen.
Thank You So Much For Talking To Me
Stephanie
My Response:
Stephanie,
I'm happy to hear things are going well for you and Brian. At one time I was going to move into that house with him as well. So I'm glad you two are at that point.
Our relationship was often stressful because of the distance. I honestly believe you missed a huge chunk of Brian's life a few years ago. Had you known him then, you may have seen things a little differently today. Brian and I met on Myspace too. We had one date, he went off to Iraq for six months, I stayed faithful to him while in college for those six months and then he came home and within a year treated me like shit. Our total relationship lasted a year and a half. So yeah, there's a lot of anger there towards him, but I have moved on and grown up because of him. I just hope to God he doesn't treat you like that too. No other women deserves to go through what he put me though. No one!
I never did get a break up from him. He left me hanging. So I hope for your sake he has his head on straight now. But the whole turning the phone thing off, I see he hasn't grown up that much. You need to discuss that with him.
Btw, does he know you are talking to me? I think he should know that too at least, or if you don't want to tell him you are talking directly too me, he should know you seem curious about me. I'm not one to lie. Never have been.
I'm always here as a friend. If you need one. Enjoy your day.
Amanda
Message #3:
Okay now I'm really confused, he said your relationship only lasted 8 months. And you were once going to move into that house, he never told me that either. See he doesn't tell me these things. I will probably tell him, just so I don't keep secrets from him. What did he do to treat you like shit, I mean how did he act and everything. We have talked about what would happen if he would go to Iraq but I'm sure if that does happen in a few years like he said, I'm sure we will be married by then, hell I wouldn't be surprised if we would get engaged soon here. I mean he got me a promise ring and everything, he seems so serious with me, and that's what I need. I need someone who is going to be faithful to me and not give up on me. We have gotten into a lot of fights but he's never gave up on me, and I've never given up on him. I have talked to him about the phone getting turned off, I told him when I get mad all I need is someone there to help me through it, and he has done that. I will probably tell him on the car ride home to my parents house. Or maybe when we are at my house..he's staying until school starts on Wednesday.
My Response:
Out of curiosity, how long have you two been dating?
Yes Brian and I dated for a year and a half, not the eight months he'd like you to think. I'm not sure where he got that number from. We said our first official date was back in March 2006 when we met for the first time. Then things started getting rocky and by August 2007 he never spoke to me. So a year and a half.
Yes we had talked about me transferring to go to school up there and I would live with him. His mom would not fly with the idea, so that's why I'm a little bit surprised she'd fly with the idea with you. But I don't know you so maybe you are more than I could ever be.
I'm not wanting to get into details about him and how he treated me, but if he ever does talk to you about it, let me know and I'll tell you if he's right or not. I can almost guarantee he'll have his twist on it to make me look like the bad person when in fact it's the other way around.
Brian and I also rarely had fights up until the end. So I think that's a little concerning if you two fight all the time. Just my opinion though of course.
I wish you luck with the talk.
Amanda
Message #4:
We have been dating for a year, we are planning on getting engaged in February. I talked to Brian and he said he doesn't remember the dates very well, he told me they weren't important. His mom loves me to death, she buys me stuff and everything, it's an amazing feeling. His dad loves me also...he helps me work with the combines and I got to drive one by myself, so that was nice of him. His mom got me a little ring for Christmas...we have learned from our fights thats for sure, we are really good now...I guess we are just meant to be. He also told me I can go with him, when he goes to Minneapolis for Air Force, which I do go with him, MINI Vacation. I'm not trying mean or anything but I think I am going to take Brians side on stuff. I know for a fact he will not just up and walk away from me, the ring says it all. He doesn't talk about you at all, your pretty much out of his memory, and he did talk to you when you two were about to break up, and he told me why also...he knows I would never do that. I am still young, and you can say that I am young but that doesn't scare me. I have never dropped out or got kicked out of college. I know what I want and Brian helps me achieve that. I told Brian about us talking, and your story the other around is maybe your jealous that Brian has a wonderful girlfriend and not you. I mean I am not going to take your side...you can say that you dated for a year and a half...but it's all about how much love you have for each other...hell...I'm getting engaged and we have dated for a year...does that say something? You can be pissed at me all you want, you can try to break us up or you can try to get me to break up with Brian. Honey, it is not going to work. And for the record, piece of advice: don't quit school over someone...that will push them more away. Okay well I am done now so...thanks for the info...
I'm taking Brian's side now...bye bye
My message: Good luck the two of you! May you make each other miserable together!
Amanda